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We finally found a zero percent movie that deserves a fresh rating with the semi-cult classic film TerrorVision from 1986. A monster from planet Pluton comes from the TV screen to terrorize a terrible family. Can they teach it about music before it eats all of them? This movie is batshit crazy in the best possible way. It's safe to say this is the most 80's film ever made so if you love that colorful aesthetic this movie is for you.
On the podcast, we ask the hard hitting questions like:
“How do you satirize Reaganomics?” – Adam
“How much KY is too much KY?” – Kris
“Is this movie all in the head of an autistic child?” - Chase
Listen Here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_3_-_terrorvision_01.mp3
House II: the Second Story follows the mold of Evil Dead 2 and takes the more straight horror original film and turns it on its head with slapstick comedy and absurd horror. While the house series isn't nearly as good as the Evil Dead Trilogy, House II does hold up surprisingly well. There are so many fun set pieces and an amazing cameo performance from John Ratzenberger.
On the podcast we ask the hard hitting questions like:
“Is there a better sequel title, ever?” – Chase
“How bad should I feel laughing at an old man getting knocked down over and over again?” – Kris
“What does it take to have a Cater-Pug as a pet?” – Kindell
Download it here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_3_-_terrorvision_01.mp3
American Ninja is a nostalgic classic that doesn't hold up nearly as good as it did when we were 8 years old. It does feature 114 awesome deaths which we made into a montage here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqHE4FhLgJM
On the podcast we ask the hard hitting questions like:
“Is the Cobra-Dera the hand equivalent of Here Is the Church, Here Is the Steeple?” – Adam
“Why do ninjas have lasers on their fists?” – Kris
“Did the whole crew contract Malaria before filming the movie?” – Chase
“Sam Firstenberg, what do you think the US Army is?” – Chris
Listen on Itunes or direct download below:
A generic teacher with a heart of gold goes to save a class of kids from an inner city school with a twist. Instead of teaching them math or english, he teaches the kids the Brazilian art of capoeira. Can these kids dance fight there way into graduation?
On the episode we ask the hard hitting questions like:
“How do I reach these kids???!!!” – Chas
“Would Double Dragon have been a better movie if Brandon Lee had starred in it, instead of Mark Dacascos?” – Adam
“Why do these privileged, rich white people care so much about inner-city kids?” – Kris
Listen here:
A bad sequel to one of the best zombie horror films of all time. For some reason, they decided to do a soft reboot of the original but with a lot more precocious kids. It does have enough zombie effects and 80's style to not be a total turd.
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
What's up with that Michael Jackson?
Why is comedian Doug Benson one of the zombies?
Why on the making of commentary do the creators just talk about how awful the film is?
“Why the fuck?” / “Should we now kill ourselves having watched this?”
Listen on iTunes or direct download here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_2_-_Return_of_the_Living_Dead_Part_2.mp3
We finally found a zero percent movie that deserves a fresh rating with the semi-cult classic film TerrorVision from 1986. A monster from planet Pluton comes from the TV screen to terrorize a terrible family. Can they teach it about music before it eats all of them?
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“How do you satirize Reaganomics?” – Adam
“How much KY is too much KY?” – Kris
“Is this movie all in the head of an autistic child?” - Chase
Listen here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_3_-_terrorvision_01.mp3
The film was directed, written produced and starring Italian dime store Leslie Nielsen Ezio Greggio. He narrates the whole movie so get ready to not understand most of it, not that it matters because it's mostly nonsense anyways. It’s a parody of psycho and Silence of the lambs although it leans a bit heavier on psycho. With the current political climate, this film feels oddly relevant today. Im sort of amazed it hasn't had a major resurgence with the alt-right community. Starting with Hillary clinton getting arrested. Then we get some tasteful transgender jokes about gender identity...scary That’s not all, black men beating up cops, jokes about Flint, Michigan, carbon taxing, a whole lot of sexual assault and don't forget black face. John Astin, I thought I knew you. There's enough clever gags to make this thing not the worst.
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“Can you break the Rule of Three’s 3 times in a row, thus making it a rule of 9’s, except it’s 10’s?” – Kris
“At what point does an homage become an insult?” – Kindell
“Is this movie a fevered dream of an Alt-Right Nostradamus?” – Chase
Listen here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/silence_of_the_hams_-_2.mp3
The best movie about an small ugly alien that gets stuck on earth and has to befriend a boy to help him find his family that isn't ET. The "FAKE NEWS" Washington Post put it like this in 1988: “Forget about calling home; E.T., call lawyer.” SAD.
We had a lot of fun cutting videos for this movie such as "Turn Down for Mac and Me"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBxb4QT7WlM
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“Why is sucking such a strong theme in this movie?” – Adam
“Can you really call it your acting debut when you’re an extra for 6 frames?” – Kris
“When the screenwriter wrote that Mac gets addicted to coke, do you think the production designer got the wrong kind of coke?” – Chase
Listen here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Rotted_Podcast_12__-_mac_and_me_2.mp3
Pierce Brosnan is an asshole abusive husband that thinks that everyone is talking about how his wife is cheating on him. Also he has to stop a terrorist bomb maker or something. Costarring a robot that makes Blank man's J-5 look like Wall-E. It also has actor-activist Ron Silver in what could only be described as a penis tip haircut.
On the Podcast, we ask the hard hitting questions like:
“What is science?” – Kris
“What is up with this Senator’s hair?” – Kindell
“Why would you have fertilizer in your kitchen? Why would you have fluorescent lights in your bedroom? – Chase
“What are the lyrics to the Pepto Bismol song again?” (Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Diarrhea) – Adam
Listen Here:
Looney Tunes without the Toons! Lot's of dumb Wiley Coyote tricks that never work. The 1979 Hal Needham's Western parody The Villain starring Kirk Douglas, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Ann-Margret's boobs. Kirk Douglas dad bod is on point too.
On the episode, we ask the hard hitting questions like:
“What do you do with a white woman?” – Chase
“Should whiskey dictate our life decisions?” – Kris
“How does that Kirk Douglas do it?” – Adam
“How do tits look so fucking great?” – Kindell
Listen Here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_3_-_terrorvision_01.mp3
Dolph Lundgren decides to drop rice on a village instead of bombs. This gets him promoted to head of the Secret Service. The whole movie is about the nuclear football so it's pretty relevant with the current administration. Featuring one of the best rooftop car chase scenes ever.
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“Who would you trust more with a nuclear football, Dolph Lundgren, or Rick (Rick the Man)?” - Chase
“Why wasn’t this movie titled The Rice Dropper?” – Adam
“What is the terminal velocity of rice?” – Kris
Listen Here:
We watched another really bad horror film. One Missed Call is an americanized version of an only ok Japanese horror film. Made at the end of the J-horror craze of the 2000's this movie tries to combine the mechanics of the Ring and Final Destination. Also features some of the worst CGI of the year.
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“Why didn’t anybody text in 2008?” – Adam
“Why is everybody sucking on Dragon Balls?” – Kris
“Can we remake this movie but with killer emoji’s?” – Chase
Listen Here:http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_6_-_one_missed_call-1.mp3
Best movie ever?
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“How do you satirize Reaganomics?” – Adam
“How much KY is too much KY?” – Kris
“Is this movie all in the head of an autistic child?” - Chase
Listen Here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_3_-_terrorvision_01.mp3
We talk Bill Paxton's Penultimate film Term Life and his only 0% movie on Rotten Tomatoes.The film is directed by Ralphie from Christmas Story (Peter Billingsley). How did such a great cast and a solid premise turn into this boring Father Daughter "heist" film? This film is based on a comic book but you would never be able to tell by what's on screen.
On the podcast, we ask the hard hitting questions like:
“If you want Cookie’s nookie, is this the place to find it?” – Adam
“If you’re 6’ 5”, should you consider yourself the resident expert on blending in?” – Kris
“How did they get so many award nominated/winning actors to star in this garbage?” – Chase
Listen Here:
It's hard to say we didn't know what we were getting into with a director named Kaos. We watch the zero percent rated Matrix lite Ballistics Ecks Vs Sever.
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“How does one waste $70 million?” – Adam
“How do you make Lucy Liu unlikeable?” – Kris
“Why the fuck do I keep forgetting the name of this movie?” – Kindell
“How do you lose your wife for 7 years? Like, literally lose her like a child at a grocery store?” – Chase
Listen Here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_4_-_ballistics-1.mp3
Why couldn't they just LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE.
Lifetime does another one of the speculation heavy, fact-lite "biopic" about the love life of Britney Spears. Want to hear some great Britney Spears songs? Go to Spotify cause this doesn't have any of them. Who doesn't want to see Britney get a Furby? Or have a half assed NSYNC sing her happy birthday. Did you know Britney and Justin Timberlake broke up with an epic dance battle?
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“How did the director, Leslie Libman go from directing The Wire to this?” – Adam
“Was this biopic directed by Kelly Anne Conway? B/c, honestly, its just 2 hours of alternative facts!” - Chase
“Is that sextape (Britney & Justin) real?” – Rebecca
“Where’s the denim dress?” – Kindell
Listen on iTunes or direct download here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Britney_Ever_After_Rotted.mp3
We finally found a zero percent movie that deserves a fresh rating with the semi-cult classic film TerrorVision from 1986. A monster from planet Pluton comes from the TV screen to terrorize a terrible family. Can they teach it about music before it eats all of them?
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“How do you satirize Reaganomics?” – Adam
“How much KY is too much KY?” – Kris
“Is this movie all in the head of an autistic child?” - Chase
Listen Here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_3_-_terrorvision_01.mp3
Basketball superstar Dennis Rodman stars as a hip Interpol agent attempting to defeat the deadly plans of a crazed arms dealer with help by his cookie college friend Dane Cook (who spends the entire movie humping couches and making animal noises). This movie proves that no matter how nostalgic us millennials are, the 90's sucked.
Robert Downey Jr. was replaced with Dane Cook because Downey dropped out and they needed someone within a few days. Is this movie cursed as three of the actors died from heart disease way before they're time.
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“Is this movie just a poor excuse for money laundering by an inept criminal organization?” – Adam
“What does Simon really say?” – Kindell
“Did Dennis Rodman’s career ever rebound after this disaster?” – Chase
Listen Here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_3_-_terrorvision_01.mp3
One of the most baffling mockbusters ever made. Filmed entirely on Green Screen, using all animated 3d stock footage, this Incredible Hulk film is a parody without any jokes. It's available on Amazon Prime for free but that doesn't mean you should watch it.
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“How does Rotten Tomatoes actually qualify a movie as a movie?” – Kris
“Is this the best feature film edited entirely in MS Paint?” – Chase
“At what point does one as a filmmaker, or artist in general, say welp, there’s no turning back?” – Adam
Listen Here:
For our episode this week we talk about one of the great Adam West's 0% movies Super Caper. Adam West is of course the best part. Unfortunately he's in the movie for less than a minute. How did they get so many good actors into this secretly "religious" movie?
IMDB Synopsis: A good guy with no powers joins a superhero team with no clue against a bad guy with no shame (and directed by a director with no talent.)
On the podcast, we ask the hard hitting questions like:
“Is God even real?” – Kris
“At this time I would like to refrain from asking a question and make a statement to Ray Griggs, the director of this film. At no point in your rambling, incoherent movie were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having watched it. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul.” – Adam
“What the fuck are these capes made out of?” – Kindell
“When the director of this film, Ray Griggs, and Kirk Cameron get together to play Limp Biscuit, who eats the Triscuit first? – Chase
Listen Here:
Who thought it would be a good idea to make a movie about soccer executives? Apparently Sepp Blatter and the brilliant minds at FIFA.
Learn the exciting story of how coca cola and Adidas became sponsors of FIFA! Dazzle at a group of drunk Europeans try to get the evil British to let them make up the rules and regulations of Soccer. Marvel at Gerard Depardieu's buttnose! A movie where producer Sepp Blatter makes himself a hero that is staunchly anti corruption which came out the same week as the 2015 FIFA corruption scandal which eventually forced him to resign. Why does everyone look like a Dick Tracy Villain.
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“Was anyone else turned on by Gerard Depardieu’s nose?” – Chase
“Can girls play soccer?” – Kris
“Why was there only one girl playing football (soccer)?” – Jason
Listen Here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/United_Passions_Rotted_-_v2.mp3
Join us as we dissect the 2014 Christmas Classic Saving Christmas starring Kirk Cameron and his ego. The film has the distinction of being #1 on IMDB's worst films of all time and like all our films we review has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Our mission on Rotted Podcast is to find the kernel of corn in the turds but the entire premise gets tested on our first episode.
Listen Here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Saving_Christmas_FINAL1_01.mp3
We talk about the worst movie we have ever seen on the show: Foodfight!
This movie has one of the most interesting backstories featuring stolen hard drives, corporate espionage, and some of the worst animation conditions imaginable.
"The movie stars Dex Dogtective, a name-play on the fact that he is a dog detective, is the only relatable character of the film Foodfight!, voice by Charlie Sheen. This protagonist, something to cling onto while you cringe and question your life choices and goals, is trapped in the universe of a grocery store solving cases and cracking down on crime."
"This movie actually took $65,000,000 to make, but it is said that they spent $64,990,000 on very psychadelic drugs and Mr.Clean products." We'll I'm going to go kill myself so enjoy the ep!
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“What the fuck?” – Adam
“What?!” – Kindell
“Why?” – Kris
“Is this movie a mass conspiracy to euthanize dogs by feeding them raisins and milk?”/ “Has any good movie ever ended with a punctuation mark?” – Chase
Listen on iTunes or download here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_3_-_terrorvision_01.mp3
We finally found a zero percent movie that deserves a fresh rating with the semi-cult classic film TerrorVision from 1986. A monster from planet Pluton comes from the TV screen to terrorize a terrible family. Can they teach it about music before it eats all of them?
We ask the hard hitting questions like:
“How do you satirize Reaganomics?” – Adam
“How much KY is too much KY?” – Kris
“Is this movie all in the head of an autistic child?” - Chase
Listen Here:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/rotted/Episode_3_-_terrorvision_01.mp3
